Stories that Changed My Life: Where Love Lives
Oklahoma voted to go wet in 1959 in spite of Will Rogers saying we would be dry as long as the Baptist and the Methodist could stager to the poles. As soon as the vote was taken many Baptist churches voted that if any of their members applied for a license to sell liquor they would be removed from membership in their church. I got caught in a room with six other pastors who had led their churches to vote in that rule and was jumped on by all six because I had not done so and would not say that I would. It was an easier vote for those pastors than it was for me. I was the only one in the room with a member who had applied for a license. It is a lot easier to take stands if you don’t have to actually act on the stand you have taken.
A few days later my barber, who I had talked to about becoming a Christian, asked me what I was going to do about Howard, the person who had applied for a license. I was stunned. I thought any chance of helping the barber find a faith was being shot in front of my eyes, but I decided to be honest, and I said:
“First of all, I am going to admit that my church and I have failed Howard far more than he seems to be failing us. He presented himself to us as a new convert and I baptized him. However, no one, including me, really thought he was sincere. He and his wife were separated, and he did not have a great reputation in town, so we decided he was just trying to get his wife back. I watched us freeze him out. I was the only one who greeted him with any warmth and that is what I am paid to do. No one reached out to him and gradually he stopped attending. No one seemed to notice or care. Now I am under pressure to kick him out of membership, and I just can’t do it.”
With a tear in his eye the barber said, “When a man is down is the wrong time to kick him.”
Believe it or not the very next time I went for a haircut Howard walked into the shop and sat in an empty barber chair next to me. Before we could speak a man, who sold insurance and real estate with the reputation of being at least shady if not simply dishonest, walked in. He was a crude loudmouth know it all and the smile on his face let me know he thought he had hit pay dirt. He had the Baptist preacher and the Baptist liquor dealer side-by-side in the barber shop. It would be like shooting fish in a barrel and he did not intend to miss the chance. He said, “Well preacher it looks like you Baptist have the liquor business sewed up here.” and followed that with a accusing laugh.
I said “Well we decided if we were going to have it anyway, we might as well have good men selling it. Unfortunately, they did not take that precaution when they invented insurance.”
The tension was too much and both men suddenly had somewhere to go.
A few days later I went to the drug store where many of the folks gathered every afternoon for coffee and gossip. Howard and I arrived at the door to the place at the same time. Standing there on the main street he asked me if anyone would object if he came back to church. What could I say? The church did not want him before he had a liquor license. All I could say was “Howard, I want you and I care.” He hugged me. I have no idea how many people saw the Baptist preacher getting hugged on main street by the liquor dealer. One can only imagine what they thought or said after seeing such a sight.
Howard did not keep his store very long; He sold it and became a broker. I have no way of knowing if the experience had any impact on his doing so. I do know that experience had a profound impact on that young Baptist preacher who got hugged on main street.
For a long time, I felt guilty. Had I failed to take a stand? Had I gone soft on sin? Was I just a coward too afraid to confront such an imposing man?
Gradually I realized whether It was me being a coward, or afraid or perhaps led by the Spirit of God I had stumbled into something beautiful. Howard did not stop being a human being and become a label. I was not hugged by a liquor dealer I was hugged by a man named Howard who was desperately trying to find a way to feed his family. That hug taught me that we label folks to make them easy to reject of even hate. Living in a world where it seems like everyone is identified by some label somehow, we must realize that love lives on the other side of labels.